


take me into your loving arms

by panlesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2015 Phan, BRIT Awards, Dancing, M/M, Slow Dancing, i was feeling emotional idk what to tell u, this is just really fucking sappy idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/pseuds/panlesters
Summary: the night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 56





	take me into your loving arms

**Author's Note:**

> oof i was listening to long live on the way home from work and this idea just came to me so i had to write it obviously 
> 
> title from thinking out loud by ed sheeran, special thanx to long live by taylor swift for just writing some very fitting dnp lyrics i am emotionanal

Dancing hasn’t ever really been their style. It’s a very public thing, to do in very public places, and they’re not exactly in a position to be _out_ publicly. Dan’s always wished they could, though. At weddings, at parties. It’s just another one of those things that they have to give up to keep the life they have. Dan holds on to the hope of _one day, one day it won’t be like this._ One day they’ll be out. It’s one of Dan’s long-term goals, something to work on for the distant future. He knows that time isn’t any time soon. And Phil knows, too.

He’s past thinking he’s holding Phil back by not coming out. Phil wants to be with him, and if that means staying in the closet publicly while Dan figures out his boundaries and his coming out plan, then he’ll gladly do that to keep Dan by his side. He doesn’t really understand it, in his heart of hearts, but it gives him a security he’s never had before Phil. He believes him, he trusts him, and that makes all the difference.

“Dan?” Phil calls. Dan shakes himself out of his thoughts and looks up. “We’re on in a minute.” Maybe now’s not the time to fall down a spiral about dancing and coming out and the distant future. Not when the camera is about to be live and they’re about to be presenting on the Brit Awards again.

It’s just a bit. It’s nothing real. _Hey, could you guys maybe have a little jokey dance when we come back on air from Thinking Out Loud?_ It runs with the music video, it’s funny. It’ll make the fans freak out a little.

They do their dance. Phil has a little flourish. Dan holds his hand a little tighter than perhaps he should. It’s almost like a glimpse into the future, the life they’ll have when they’re both out and the world has calmed down a little from what it is now. When they can dance in public spaces as if it’s normal. It makes Dan’s stomach flip a little to think about it, about how one day they could do this and it won’t have to be played off as a joke.

“Hey.”

Dan looks up as a hand falls on his. They’re driving home in a taxi, and Dan is quietly looking out the window. He’s nearly asleep, exhausted from having his ‘camera face’ on for such a long time.

“Hey,” he says quietly. He turns his hand to intertwine their fingers a little and smiles up at Phil.

“You okay?” Phil rubs his thumb across the back of Dan’s hand. “You’ve been a bit… distant tonight.”

Dan smiles. “I’m okay. Just got a lot to think about.”

“Like what?”

“Like how one day we might be able to dance together and not play it off as a joke,” Dan says quietly. “It’s strange, I thought I was gonna hate it, dancing like that as if it wasn’t what I’ve always wanted with you.” Phil squeezes Dan’s hand a little. “But it was actually really great.”

“Yeah?” Phil smiles gently.

“Yeah.” Dan breathes. “It was exciting. It’s not the right time yet, but I really fucking can’t wait to be out.”

It’s late when they get back to their flat. Nearly one a.m., but Phil is insistent that they make up some hot chocolate and stay up a little longer. Dan doesn’t question it when Phil gets up to leave the room with his phone, but he’s frowning when Phil comes back into the living room with his Bluetooth speaker.

“What are you doing?” Dan laughs. “The neighbours are gonna kill us if you start playing loud music.”

“It’s not gonna be that loud,” Phil rolls his eyes. “I just… well. Just wait and see.”

It’s only a few seconds before the soft sound of Ed Sheeran’s voice begins playing out the speaker and Dan laughs a little. Phil moves to the middle of the room and holds out a hand.

Dan gets up from his seat and slowly makes his way across to Phil. When he’s within arms’ reach, Phil reaches out his other hand and intertwines their fingers. When he’s even closer, Phil stretches to press a gentle kiss to Dan’s neck. He moves his mouth up to Dan’s ear and presses another kiss there.

“I thought we could do this properly,” he murmurs, and he can feel the shiver that makes its way down Dan’s spine.

Phil’s hands slide from Dan’s and find purchase around his waist. Dan rolls his eyes and loops his arms around Phil’s shoulders.

“You know,” Dan says softly. “I’m the taller one, I should be leading.”

“Yeah, but I’m the one who’s looking after you, so I’m leading,” Phil replies softly. He’s shamelessly staring at Dan’s lips, and Dan rolls his eyes and presses a peck to Phil’s mouth before moving away again.

“Oh, really?” he whispers back. “What exactly do I need looking after for, Lester?”

“Too much thinking going on in that head of yours,” Phil replies. “Just wanna look after you a little, wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m really fine, Phil,” Dan says quietly, moving to bury his forehead in Phil’s neck. “I just can’t wait for the future, you know? I’ve just been thinking so much about how things are gonna change for us when we’re out.”

Dan picks his head up from Phil’s shoulder again, frowning.

“Nope, this isn’t working, that’s hurting my neck,” he grumbles at Phil. “Swap, come on.”

They move hands so Dan is leading, and then Phil is the one burying his face in Dan’s shoulder. Dan can feel the breath on his neck and he’s shivering a little again. He thought he was too tired to get riled up now, but Phil seems to be working his magic just like always.

“I really love you, you know,” Dan says quietly. “I know you’ve told me you’re fine waiting for me,” he muses, “But it really fucking means the world that you want me _that much_ that you’d wait however long I wanted before you told people I’m your boyfriend.”

“Dan,” Phil says softly, pressing a wet kiss to Dan’s neck. “I’d wait forever for you -” another kiss at the jaw, “I already waited long enough to find you -” a kiss near the ear, “And I don’t ever wanna fucking let you go.” A kiss at the corner of the mouth. “You’re everything to me, Dan. I’d wait forever for you, you know I would.”

Their lips meet in the middle and it’s not even heated. It’s gentle, it’s loving, it’s forever and ever. They stand together, lazily making out for a good few minutes, as if every glide of lips and tongue and teeth is a promise, over and over, to wait for each other and never, ever let each other go.

Dan wishes he had the energy in him to convey these promises by fucking Phil through the mattress, but they’re both so tired, so he puts a rain check in his mind for that one, making a note to do that some other time.

It’s been a long night, and he really _is_ tired, but he knows he’s going to bed high. He’s going to bed on promises of forever, next to the man he loves, the man he’s made his own promises to, the man he’s going to fall asleep next to for the rest of his life.

* * *

“Friends and family, please welcome Daniel and Philip Lester!”

Picking a first dance was a tricky one. They have so many important songs, so much music close to their heart. They had a list of all their song choices: Interrupted by Fireworks and even Toxic on the list, before they decided they maybe needed something a little gentler. Eventually a slow dance was abandoned in place of a choreographed gentle waltz; the song they picked called for something a little more sophisticated. Not that either of them could really dance, but it was the thought that counted, they had decided.

The crowd of family and friends give a cheer as the newly married couple make their way to the stage, the soft sound of Nature Boy playing as they gently dance with each other in a somewhat public space. _Finally._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! comments are appreciated, come scream at me on tumblr @ panlesters


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